Tuesday, December 13, 2011

solitude walker

"Hey, am still here, very near to you. Still I feel your voice is dissolved in the sounds of the waves!!!! What is it, that is so buried in you? Wish that to be a seed which thrust itself to come out to make a greener life", she said.

That was a wake up call. Wish it is better to be alone for some more time, to enjoy the silence. With a smile he said "did you see how blue the sea is? They say, the more blue it is, the more deep and dangerous it can be"

"I should believe this blue sci-fi?! Better be poetical".

"I rather like to be philosophical. There is a saying that no calm sea made a good sailor. That is something I believed and still believe. Whenever I spend time on beaches, it always come to me with a lot of inspiring waves of thoughts"

"mm... I used to wonder, how stubborn you are, bit boring at times. From outside, you are quite jovial and pleasant. But the more I try to learn you, either I hit the rocks or you end it with your usual smile. Why is it always complicated with you?"

" well, I may not have a clear cut answer to that. As I said, life was bit different just as everyone claims. I might have developed a taste of refusing to be like others, preferring to be on the tougher side of the sea, wandering around. And I enjoy being different and being unquestioned"

walks: to forget and forgive

"Oh! the solitude walker philosophy."

"May be!!!"

"Most of the people like to be in a flow. When you swim across, people think you are not their type. May be that attitude is what made me to be with you"

"Ahh! ! people in a flow always resist changes. Attitude to swim across made many people angry, making me arrogant/boring ..whatever!!! "

"Okay mr arrogant, we may go back now. It is getting late"

Though he wished to hear the voices of the waves, he said "let's go"

Thursday, November 24, 2011

Another (ordinary) day

Days pass by. Sometimes they notify you, some itch you and some are so feeble to make an impression. It is 11 months since I left IIT and still enjoying the fruits of the life there. But the quest for change and do better, I tried to keep it alive.

At times I wonder what I stand for exhibits the true self. It is like "to be me" or to be me through someone else's eyes. It is rather puzzling, I know and I try to keep telling to myself "so far I enjoyed the life as it comes and it was always pleasant and gave a lot of surprises". Those were well balanced with good and bad.
impressions.. whether u like it or not, some lasts longer!!!

One thing I still have to gain control over is the volatile reaction as if I can improve things if the surroundings co-operated a bit. Then comes an argument back in my mind that, raising the voice for something I believe right; is a good thing. The question still remains "should I polish the reactions and pour out with a bit of honey?" If I do so, will my voice be ignored? I don't know. And I don't think anyone else would know it either because we can't walk back and try the other.

Friday, September 16, 2011

Engineer by profession

They tease me, make me afraid at times, but that is what inspired me to be persistent when I felt the world has turned upside down. I was actually puzzled again, for I got a comment that "my persistence is scary". Still I persist, for those who looked beyond the scary, high air nature and made me believe that I can. The first and foremost persons being my parents.

I remember, my father taking me to Kanakakkunnu palace and Nishagandhi, through the Museum-Zoo road to see Onaghosham. By 7th standard, I could read English and probably at that time, by reading the board which stood near to this Nishagandhi-Muzeum-Kanakakkunnu area, "Institute of Engineers" made me puzzled. At that time I know what a mason/carpenter/painter/plumber/mechanic/police/doctors does. But I hardly had a clue on what "Engineer" does. I think someone explained me that these are people who "makes vehicle/construct dams". "Oh, what is big difference between them with mason or or mechanic?"

Well I did not know the answer at that time. Don't ask me if I know it now :P. But by profession and by degree, I am that.

The passion or craze to do things is the start. Then "bad experiences and failures", follows, where you feel "u r n deep shit". From this point if u persist and make it work, that may be called as engineering (my own defn... please don't jump on me and stamp me for this). Software engineers are special category in this. They create "bugs", follow them with "mouse" and smile when they see others also running with "baygon and hit". I still like to be crazy, jump in deep pits and then come back to tell "f***", I should not have done that.

When I see the outcomes of such craziness, which forms different shapes and becomes a part of human life, improving the difficulties we face and make us enable writing this blog or interact with people around the world, to help and to stand each other, I feel to be proud of a "software engineer".

Belated "happy engineers day"

Oooooops!!! This day differes in different countries. Another craziness :-)

India celebrates it in memoirs of Visweswaraya of Mysore. (VTU and Visweswaraya Technical Muzeum of Bangalore are named after him).

Monday, September 5, 2011


Today September 5, birth day of Dr. Sarvepalli Radhakrishnan or Teacher's day. I think for the first time after 2004, I did not receive any "happy teacher's day" message. Luckily saw the placards in the hands of kids going to schools. Wished my professor and a few of my old colleagues.

Afternoon lunch was with the "family people". Today's topic was somehow on the "struggles" of parents for giving education to the kid. Should I call it interesting or scary I am not sure, but it seems like there is a lot of activities going on in schools. One such interesting exercise is to do "cultivation". What the ....?
So my colleague explained the modern cultivation. Make a base with waterproof paper, make a small layer of mud over it in the shape of Kid's name. Then make sprouts over it. "Spray water".
I have heard of DPEP (District Primary Education Program) where students are encouraged to do group activities and assignments. But this was something new. Also there were discussions on "good schools" in Bangalore. I was curious to know what could be the answer. Came back and searched for the same. To one school which was named "the best", I just checked the fee structure and felt that I am out of place (as always), wondering is it just a nightmare or a reality.

Kindergarten - About Rs. 1.35 Lakhs.


I could not figure out what can a kid aged 3 can do with that much money. That too "education".

Thanks to the vision and planning people like Pandit Jawaharlal Nehru without which I might not have studied from my first standard till Masters. It should be noted that, if Tatas and Birlas did think of educating their children and only thought about them; we might have missed some of the best schools in the world namely Indian Institute of Science (Formerly Tata Institute of Science), Tata Institute of Fundamental Research (TIFR) and Birla Institute of Technology and Science (BITS Pilani).

I am also proud of the Maharajas of Travencore for their service to the people in south kerala. This family has started institutions like
  • Kerala University where Einstein was invited as the first Vice Chancellor to which Einstein replied stating that his health is not good enough
  • SreeChitra Medical Centre (which is one of the finest research institute in the world and contributed the lightest heart valve)
  • College of Engineering Trivandrum
  • Government Arts college (where people like K R Narayan studied. I was fortunate enough to study there)
  • Medical College Trivandrum

I take a bow for those who enlightened and ignited the generations with wisdom and showed the alternate paths to choose from

PS: Heard that kids assignments and affordable fees can positively control the birth rate

"Education means that process by which character is formed, strength of mind is increased, and intellect is sharpened, as a result of which one can stand on one’s own feet."
...... Swami Vivekanda

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

The struggle for betterment

Well, this is supposed to be posted on 15th of august, but better late than never. What I write here is my voice (Mera aawaaz). I could not post it on 15th, since I was travelling through mangalore on that day. Let me start from the Aug 15 of this year. We, a group of 8 were at kaup beach near udupi, Karnataka. After many years, I was attending a flag hoisting ceremony.

Then we walked to the beach. As usual the roads were dirty with so much of plastic waste. A while after we reached, a big group of school children came with the teachers. They were there to clean the beach as a part of Independence day celebrations. I was happy to see such initiatives. As I always believe, we don't expect everyone to continue this culture of keeping the public places clean; but it sends a message to all. If one out of 100 such children could make it a part of his/her life; it is well and good.

I was wondering about the attitude of the mass. People started protests supporting Anna. I am really happy for what he stands and no offences to the supporters, including my close friends. I really don't believe that India is that worst in corruption compared to other countries. I should say that heights of corruption in US may be to such an extend along with the biased media that the common public won't even realise what is happening

Here I need to ask a question. It is a re-post from my thoughts sometime back on Jan-Lokpal bill and Anna. Out of all these big talks, how many are really ready to take it as part of their life? How many people does not violate rules? No high expectations, but even simple traffic rules?
Will you bribe 100 rupees for the police for a rule violation or will you ask for receipt? Will you really stop littering or even try to carry a waste bag, collect the waste you are creating and put it in next dust bin?
A lot of questions I have, but in one sentence can "we" have a better civic sense which comes as a part of our culture?

I wish I could make a positive effect at least to the people around me and pray that let god give courage to stop me if I am wrong.

To end this I would like to quote one note from Gandhiji, our father of nation.

"Be the change you want to see".

Monday, June 6, 2011

lazy and legacy

What is it like being lazy?
While I was in IITM, there was no much difference in a weekday from a weekend. I never used to plan ahead for weekends. When I joined Bosch, I started realising the "week" and "weekend" concepts. Every Thursday/Friday I used to hear "what plans?" and every Monday "how was the weekend?"

Trying out things which were never tried so far is one thing I started. Cycling on Sundays or short trips with photography is what looked like "my weekends". An interesting fact I noticed was that many a time I used to hear lazy weekend, slept off, movies etc. With a bad pain in my ankle coupled with back pain which prolonged for more than a month; I could also say similar things.

At the same time I wanted to restart learning violin, learn kannada; travel at least one weekend in a month. Nothing really worked so far. From the previous post; where I was describing about "paying forward", I am also becoming someone who is lazy.

There was a time when I felt pity about people who are "high ranked" acted in a strange manner. For example; people complaining that "linux is very difficult" or "I do not know how to use power point for presentations". I literally hated such people who are gifted, spent their effort and time to reach there and after a while "get used to" the system. They resist any changes or depend on others for getting the "job done". I used to wonder, how such an attitude can come. I used to call them "legacy". For me, such people are those who inevitably destroy the synergy and positiveness by not adapting and getting accustomed to the current systems.

The answer to the questions came from a month's rest (rust) where I hardly did any learning. Nothing literally creative. Not even trying to do something different.
This is something I should be ashamed of. I have been given an opportunity to be a part of a great university of India. And I am not doing anything to pay that forward.

Though in a hard way; I learned how to be legacy. Only thing I am wondering is will I also start saying things like

"oh, I did not get time " "I wanted to do, but you know"
at the same time having lazy weekends

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Paying it forward

It is an interesting thing, to study about human behaviors. I have seen people coming to me for they want to be heard. I always had and have people to hear me as well. More than that, three were angels, I do not even know names of many of them. When I was going to my college, 28Km away from my home and missing the only morning bus, I see angels in the form of people who picked me up.

More than that there were people who came to my life for a very short span and made me think, what did I do to really meet such people. There are three incidents I would like to tell. First one is when I met a lady at music class. She was from CSIR. It was just an year after my B-Tech when I had my GATE score. She told, there is a scheme in CSIR where I can do PhD directly with complete CSIR scholarship and asked me to come and meet her next day. I went to CSIR next day, met her. She made a few phone calls for getting two people who are heading the research there. All these people she called, really spent time for explaining to me, about the work they are doing and possibility of an admission and the risks.

Second time again was about PhD. This time Dr Achut Shankar (Achu) who barely know me; spent an hour with me and wrote a recommendation letter for my application to IIT Kanpur. At that time, he was the director of Centre for Bioinformatics. The third incident was when I was applying for passport. I already have two posts in this blog on that. The only reason I got the passport from Thiruvananthapuram passport office was because of a lady. She was verifying my documents. That is her job. She signed it and forwarded to senior passport officer, who denied it. I came out, disappointed. If I get it, I might get a chance to go to Switzerland for presenting my paper. She found out from my face that I did not get it and said, "anyway u came till here, spent ur energy and tried this much; why not just speak to the Regional Passport Officer?". And I got the passport approved on the very next day.

Did I join CSIR? Did I succeed in IIT Kanpur admission? Did I go to Swiss for presentation?. Well I did not join CSIR, failed in IIT Kanpur test and department did not give funds for my Swiss travel. I learned one thing from these incidents and tried to keep that as a quality in me. These people who helped me, all of them were strangers, holding very high positions, having so much things to do. They never said "I do not have time". They did not even ask what was the result. They did not expect anything in return as well.

Later I tried to improve myself. Blogging was a new method I tried to reach out to more people and to see if the things I learned as a part of my MS program at IIT Madras was helpful. I started a technical blog apart from this one you are reading. The response was overwhelming, from almost all parts of the world.

So many people wrote to me in person, came to chat. One such incident was when a lady from GE called me. She wanted to learn the technology I am working on. I was totally busy on the day she wanted to come. Still I said, please come and meet me. She came and learned quickly. In return I said, I do not expect anything back for me. Write the application you just understood, and post it in my blog. Coincidences, I believe in that. On next week I had a request from someone asking for similar application she was developing. I made a request that, please send it since there is a person who is waiting. I did not get a response in time, wrote a mail saying that,

"So, your priorities are still not up to "pay it forward". I could have said the same excuses of priorities and meeting with "bosses" to you. At least a curtsy reply that you could not do it
Or am I expecting too much for a "silly help" to you". There was a link of the new blog post with the basic application along with that mail.

This was just one incident. I have received appreciations as well. Just while I was writing, I got a mail saying that "Hi, Girish, Your post really helped me. B'cos nowhere is the amt for a non-judicil stamp paper specified. It is assumed that all indians are born with this knowledge much like the salmon which knows...." .

As a matter of fact, this job I am holding currently, was because of the technical blog, despite the fact that I did not answer even simple technical questions in the interview.

I later thought that I should avoid such comments like I did to that lady from GE. Thanks and sorry does not make sense to me unless it is supported by an action. That is something I learned in hard way. I hope it stays with me and will continue to inspire me for paying forward, while ignoring the behavior from others or expect others to act on my request.

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Welcome to Bangalooru, my dear

So what made me write something on valentine's day eve? A lady sitting beside me in a nice T shirt and blue jeans with a brass bracelet in her right hand and a silver color watch on her left hand. She should be around 21, not a regular book reader, having a nice sence of fashion especially in light ornaments (like platinum) and aesthetic eye on things
She tried to keep her elegance even while she was desperately trying to sleep. Beautiful eyes wide open with a nice smile on her face, she is talking in my mother tongue (ob not to me ), what (else) I can do?

My thoughts went back to the Post iit era, which had a breath taking kickoff. Literally I was running around to finish off the formalities with no time to breath.
The rules are so simple like chicken-egg problem between department and hostel management
On the other side Bangalore was not ready to receive me. The HR lady was not returning my calls or emails. What I had was just a letter to report on thursday. Temporarily destination was set as abhilash's room. Poor him, I have not taken his photos despite 2 months stay at Bangalore

At bosch they hardly had any clue of me joining. That was a Thursday. That weekend I bought a cycle for commuting and took a small hall kitchen for stay. Thought it was a geat day. Oohhaa.. not that great. Bangalore was just starting her magic on me. With a great vanishing act, my mobile disappeared from my hand in no time. That was her way of saying "welcome to Bangalore, dear"

She again tested my patience with a broadband connection application? In my village it may be a fortnight to get it done. But in bangalore 3km away from forum mall, I did not get it in a month. Bsnl and airtel said they can't give connection. Finally I went for the 3G from BSNL. I slowly getting realized that I am in civilization after years of life in academic environment.
With not much work from company and no internet at home it was a different lifestyle altogether. On weekends I was either shuttling to chennai or trying to go out, covering nandi hills, Sravan balagola, musical fountain and bangalore air show till date.
This is the return shuttle from Chennai where I reserved a window seat and in the train, realized that it was not "w". Then again music chair thing gave me a window seat (but there was no window :() and that is how I ended up sitting beside her.

Time pass by and I was taking a candid photo (though not to complement mathew's new efforts for the same during his trek last day).
A glance to the pages she was flipping through, made me a smile. The pages containing valent's day special articles finally landed in" my husband ejacuates before I even getting started" to 'my stomach is still flabby after..... ". Aah that made me remembering reading femina while I was in govt arts college, doing my pre-degree. As they say" magazines like femina and vanitha" are most subscribed by men" ;-)
The next topic was coorg where she actually belong to. Virajpet to kannur is like come in the morning and go back in the evening, in her words. Another phone came in and another break.
Did I miss an essential app in FaceBook? Coz I had an unsuccessful attempt to find her profile and thought" WTF, why don't FB have a photo search instead of name search"? Dear FB my name has to be in your patent if this thing really comes out ;-)

Finally at cantonment station, she left while I was thanking the indian railway for a not so boring feb13 evening.